Slip Sliding Away

Well, I hope you’re happy! You wanted the snow to end. You moaned and groaned about how you were so sick of it and how the winter has been so tough on you. Well, the snow is nearly gone now, washed away by the torrential rains of the past several days. We’ve had so much rain that even Noah has abandoned us. He’s left the fold – gone – resigned his position. No ark, no animals, no talk about cubits – nothing!

Now the rain is causing havoc. Last Friday I nearly went off the road on Route 106 just past Loco Tapas and Wine Bar. I was headed for the Rite Aid Pharmacy to pick up some medication for my ever-deteriorating case of aquaphobia when another motorist flew by me heading west at a ridiculously high rate of speed. When he hit the river that materializes on that same spot in the road every time it rains; he hydroplaned and headed directly toward me.

Being the cool, calm and collected type of guy that I am; I immediately steered toward the soft shoulder to avoid a collision. Have you ever wondered why it’s called a soft shoulder?

My right front tire sank in several inches of mud, leaving the rear quarter of my SUV sticking out in the middle of Route 106. As I jumped out of my vehicle to survey the damage, several passing motorists laid on their horns, gesturing and yelling what I assume were words of encouragement as they flew by, sending sheets of water cascading over me and my car.   

I waved, thanking my fellow travelers for their support, jumped back into my SUV, locked in the four wheel drive and slowly backed out onto terra firma as another group of well-wishers passed me by, again with the honking…..and the gesturing….and the yelling. Nice people!

I arrived at the pharmacy, wet, muddy and cold, but comforted by the fact that, yet again, I had met some wonderful human beings along this journey we call life.

Duck, Duck, Bruce

My brother, Bruce, worked in Mansfield at Rolf C. Hagen and Company, now known as Hagen, several years ago. The company participated in a program through a social services organization where they would bring in workers who were mentally challenged, giving them the opportunity to be productive and to feel some sense of self-sufficiency. Bruce got to know several of the men and women who participated in this very worthwhile venture and took a few of them under his wing. He enjoyed talking with them and always had great stories to share with me about how they were progressing.

There was one particular man named Joe, whom Bruce had gotten to know quite well. Bruce kidded with him all the time, although Joe didn’t really comprehend nuance and didn’t understand when Bruce was just pulling his leg. Joe was in his mid-fifties and had spent the majority of his life in institutions and group homes.

One morning Joe came through the side-door to the warehouse with a sour look on his face. He was soaking wet – drenched to the bone. It had been raining for several days and it seemed there was no end in sight.

Bruce walked over to Joe, put his arm around him and laughed. “Nice weather for ducks, huh Joe?” 

Joe cocked his head quizzically, deliberated for a moment or two and replied, “Yuh, those damn ducks!”

To this day, Bruce speaks fondly of Joe – and those damn ducks. From the mouths of babes.

Fowl Afoul In Easton

The Thailand Restaurant in Easton has closed its doors after serving great Thai dishes to their clientele for twenty-two years. It seems that the owner, Vorathep ‘Lucky’ Vumpavong, was unable to come to terms on a new lease with the owner of the property, Tony Kwan.

I loved Thailand’s Tamarind Duck and their Pad Thai was one of my wife’s favorites. Nice people too! What a loss for the town of Easton. I only wish I could be of some help. Maybe I could salvage this deal. If you can’t get it done the first time; you need to try just a little bit harder.

Hey Tony! Tony Kwan! Listen up, Dude! What’s up with this lease thing? I’m sure there’s a way to work this out, right? Come on, man, lighten up. Why do you want to go and mess with these people? They’re nice people! I know there must be something you can do, right?

Where there’s a will there’s a way. I have a boatload of other clichés in my treasure-trove of trite literary aphorisms, but I’m only allowed one per column so you’re just going to have to live with that one. But seriously, it’s about the money, right? It’s always about the money!

Well, I’m sure you’ll land on your feet, ‘Lucky’ - maybe open up a new restaurant somewhere else, or just kick back and enjoy life. Thanks for the great food and the way you always made us all feel welcome. We’ll miss you.

But what about my Tamarind Duck? Where am I going to get my Tamarind Duck? I want my Tamarind Duck!

Those Damn ducks!

Make it a great week.