Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. – Woody Allen

This past week flew by for me. It was a busy week and I was going to procrastinate about writing my column, but I just couldn’t find the time. Didn’t find that humorous? It only gets worse from here.

Before I sat down at my lap-top to write this piece, I made the short jaunt to Dunkin Donuts to get a large, black coffee. There was a sign on the door that read, in part - We no longer except $50 or $100 bills. Those of you who know me or have come to know my little quirks through reading this column know that type of faux pas doesn’t cut it with me.

“Who made the sign?” I asked as I approached the young lady at the counter.

“What sign?” she inquired, obviously eager to please.

“The one on the door,” I responded, confident she’d be grateful I’d spotted the error. “It says - We no longer except $50 or $100 bills.”  

“Oh, so do you have a $50?” she asked hastily. “I have plenty of cash in the drawer, so I’ll take it.”

“Ah, no,” I replied. “It says, except. It should say, accept.”

“Oh, yeah. I get it,” she said. “I think it might be the same person who made the sign for the back room that said - No cell phones a loud at the counter.

I nodded derisively.

“See it should have been, allowed, and they wrote, a loud,” she chuckled.

“Yes, I get it,” I replied. I placed my order, grabbed my coffee and headed for the door confident that I had again saved the English language from total decimation.

No need to thank me - it’s my job!

I arrived at home with my coffee and decided to catch the weather report before getting back to work. I had no real reason to care what the weather was going to be. I wasn’t going anywhere. Even if I was going somewhere, what good would it have done to know what the weather was going to be? I couldn’t change it. But that’s just one of my innumerable idiosyncrasies so I guess I’ll have to live with it.

I could have gone directly in to my office, pulled up the Easton Patch homepage and placed my cursor over the temperature that’s displayed next to the EastonPatch logo and the weather box would have popped up with the days forecast and the temperatures for the following week, but old habits die hard and wasting twenty minutes in front of the tube gave me the time to drink my coffee, so it worked out just fine.

While watching TV, waiting for the local forecast, I saw that Hickory, a 5-year-old Scottish deerhound won Best of Show at the Westminster Kennel Club, becoming America's Top Dog. Now, I must confess I’ve never before heard of a Scottish deerhound, nor I have ever seen one, but I’ll have to admit Hickory is a cute little guy, or more precisely a cute big girl; a female weighing eighty-five pounds.

Since winning her title, this mutt has had her hairy mug on every TV show from Fox News to the Today Show, where she summarily refused to indulge in a plate of prime beef. Come on now; a dog that doesn’t eat steak? She actually sniffed at it, turned up her nose and walked away. What the heck is that all about? Any dog I’ve ever owned would have ripped that slab of beef right out of my hand, taking a few chunks of my finger in the process.

Hickory is cute and she may be a champion, but she’s no dog. I don’t know what she is, but I know what she’s not, which would be the aforementioned dog. A dog that won’t eat steak – please!

Maybe I’m just jealous that Hickory is worth more than my car. Actually, that pompous little mongrel is worth more than the combined value of every car I‘ve ever owned. Pretentious hound!

As you can clearly see, I have some very important things on my mind this week, but none more important than this - Donald Trump may run for president. Donald Trump? President? Really?

Hey, the guy has a brilliant business mind. He’s one of the most successful businessmen in history, but does he really think he’s electable with that raccoon living on top of his head? Seriously Donald, get a decent coif!  You’ve got the Benjamins – cough up a few and redo that do!

He could do it. He could win. I can almost hear the announcement; Ladies and gentleman, the Donald of the United States. Yikes!

Intelligence and know-how aside, the Donald just isn’t high up on my list of those I’d like to see in the White House. Not that I don’t believe he’s capable of getting the job done, but mainly because I’m not sure I could look at him for four years. There’s something about the way he presents himself that annoys me – his hair not withstanding. I know that’s rather superficial, but I reserve my constitutional right to choose my president based upon his appearance.

I’m not sure who I’d prefer. Maybe this guy. He’s arrogant, devious, obnoxious and blind to the needs of the common man – all the attributes one would want in the leader of the free world.

I almost hate to get serious, but I’m going to. I’m generally pretty good at subtly melding serious issues with humor while still getting my point across, but I suppose there’s a first time for everything. No subtlety here.

There’s something that has had a direct effect on me over the past week; an issue that has me extremely frustrated. I won’t get in to the finer details, but I can tell you that it’s been weighing heavily on me. It involves those who I call small thinkers; folks who only see what’s directly in front of them, the obvious, and never open their minds to the big picture and have no desire to do so. They’re not interested. This is a form of intellectual laziness, which I believe is, at least in part, fueled by jealousy, envy and low self-esteem; the fear that someone else may have an idea or may do something that will succeed and make the small thinker look bad.

This attitude is not only detrimental to the individual; it will destroy a company or an organization because the focus on the greater goal is totally overlooked when the, ‘It’s all about me’ attitude prevails. This is the modus operandi of the small thinker.

It used to be that the go-getters of the world, those who were proactive in thought, were revered and rewarded for their efforts. They were seen as ground breakers – forward thinkers. But now it seems that too many look down on achievement and outstanding performance. Those who strive to excel are far too often scorned and ridiculed, even penalized for their hard work. I don’t get it; isn’t that backwards? Shouldn’t one be rewarded for his or her efforts?

As I said, I believe that jealousy, envy and low self-esteem are the catalysts for this mind-set. We all understand jealousy and envy. They pretty much speak for themselves. Self-esteem issues are much more complex. Self-esteem is one’s personal appraisal of their own worth, their opinion of themselves.

Those with low self-esteem oftentimes take the path of least resistance to achieving their own warped version of ‘who they are’ by berating others in order to make themselves look better. That’s their cure. Their thinking is that the worse they can make the other guy appear, the better they themselves will look and, let’s face it; it’s much easier to knock the other fellow down than it is to make a concerted effort to improve oneself.

This warped, corrupt thinking has become an all too acceptable behavior in today’s culture. We base our opinions of ourselves on the external – how much money we have - how attractive we are - our professional successes - where we live – and on and on it goes. 

We live in a co-dependent culture where we think far too much about what others think of us and far too little about who we really are. Our worth should come from within, not from some external source. That type of thinking only serves to set us up to fall victim to the power of the caustic opinions of others and when that happens; we have surrendered all of ‘who we really are’; we have bought into the lie; we have succumbed to the darkness.

Don’t believe the lie!

"If you set to work to believe everything, you will tire out the believing-muscles of your mind, and then you'll be so weak you won't be able to believe the simplest true things." - Lewis Carroll