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The Adoption Journey: In My Soul, In My Heart...But Not In My Belly

Adoption: A journey of ups and downs. As in pregnancy, emotions surface at each point in time. Twins didn't grow in my belly-but, in my heart from the moment we were matched with the birth mom.

Remembering the call . . . ”We have found a match for you. The birth mom would like to talk with you tomorrow!”

Remembering the anxiety . . . Tomorrow came with much anticipation and fear but then the phone rang. Talking to the birth mom was easier than I could have ever expected. Our call lasted about 30 minutes. I was so relieved to speak with
her . . . she seemed intelligent, kind, loving and really vested in finding the
best situation for the child she was carrying. It was actually like talking to someone that I had known for a long time but just hadn’t kept in touch with. All
the anxiety that my husband and I had felt was really unnecessary. This was the first of many calls that we would have over the next few months.

Remembering the day . . . Our social worker called about a month after our match and two months before the due date. 

“I need you to sit down,” she said.  “Call your husband and have him lay down.”  My heart sunk into my stomach although our social worked insisted that it was nothing bad. But what was I to think as I leaned back in my office chair looking out at Boston Harbor and dialing my husband work phone. Once he was on the phone, the bombshell was dropped. Our social worker informed us, “There is a possibility it is twins but we aren’t sure. Often after multiple pregnancies, a woman will appear bigger than in her prior pregnancies.  No need to worry, but I felt I should let you know of the possibility!”

Thankfully, my husband was lying down otherwise he may have fainted. 

Remembering the panic . . . Immediately upon hanging up with our social worker, my husband called in a panic, “How can we adopt twins? Is there room in the house? How will our oldest feel about it? Do we have the energy to raise twins? We can always wait for another match.” I tried to rationalize with him and get him to work through the fear insisting that it was the same shock and fear that any dad who just heard that he might be having twins would go through. My husband then proclaimed, “Let’s ask JJ and see what he thinks.” Pretty crazy idea that I was not going to give my buy-in on.

Remembering the conversation . . . Although I was 150 percent against asking my oldest what he thought about the idea of twins, especially since we didn’t know for sure, my husband couldn’t help himself and asked anyway. He blurted out as we were heading back home from dinner, “What do you think if we adopted twins . . . two sisters?”  Well, without skipping a beat, JJ responded, “I would rather have a brother and sister instead of two sisters.” His answer was enough to calm my husband down and open his mind to the idea of twins.

Remembering the confirmation . . . The birth mom called me a few days later and confirmed, “I am pregnant with twins.”  However, there was fear in her voice. She was scared that we would call the adoption off since we had been expecting only one baby. Thankfully, we were all on the same page, after my husband’s conversation with JJ. We assured the birth mom that we were thrilled with the idea of twins and we would not consider backing out of the adoption.

Remembering the doctor’s voice . . . A few weeks later, I jumped on a plane to meet the birth mom and go with her for the next ultrasound. Within a few moments of seeing the image, it was confirmed that Baby A was a girl and Baby B was a boy. JJ will have the siblings that he was hoping for. 

Remembering the frantic voice . . . It was a Thursday morning, half way to work, I got the call from the birth dad, “She is in labor. We are headed to the hospital.”  OMG….we were about to be the parents of twins. Immediately calling my husband, we both headed back home to work through the logistics of booking flights, finding hotel, arranging for my mom to come to our house to stay with JJ, going to school to tell JJ, and so much more.”  

This was probably the most hectic time in our lives, but beautifully orchestrated if I must say so.

Remembering the magical moments . . . 10:30 a.m. - we received the call that the twins were born and were healthy. 10:30 p.m. - we walked into a Florida hospital room and laid our eyes on our twins, so beautiful, so sweet and magical additions to our family. 

Adoption is a wonderful opportunity for parents to share their love.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Carol Houghton August 15, 2012 at 10:45 AM
What a beautiful story. God bless you all. When the situation arises where people so wanting a child are granted that possibility it is just wonderful.
Adrienne Jacobson August 15, 2012 at 12:38 PM
Thank you been a wonderful journey
Buseybee August 15, 2012 at 09:36 PM
Beautiful story. I'm so happy for all of you. I hope that you and your three children are blessed with happiness all your lives. Thank you for sharing your happiness with us.

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